Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
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