i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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