watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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