Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Randomize
