As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Randomize
