There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
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