she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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