Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Every concussion has its silver lining
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Randomize
