No awkward lesbian experiences without me
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
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