The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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