I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
