is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
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To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
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Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
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