I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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