my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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