She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
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