Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Randomize
