her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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