She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
he fucked my hip out of place.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
50% drunk capacity currently
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
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