I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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