please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
