i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
I just cut my nipple shaving
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Randomize
