I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
