if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize