This is not my ceiling
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
did you just send me my own nude
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
