even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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