I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
