I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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