Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
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