your room smells of hookers.
And success
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
