you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
19 Confessions From A Dude With A Micropenis
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
17 Exes Admit Why They Were Crazy In Their Past Relationship
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.