I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?