More tranny stories later!
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back