She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
23 Bosses Confess The Craziest Thing They’ve Seen An Employee Do
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
19 People Confess What It’s Like To Have Sex With Someone That Is Transitioning
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.