I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.