Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
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