I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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