umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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