I'm lost and stupid without you.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Randomize
