woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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