just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
