it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
