I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
