When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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