i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
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He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
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Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
If its not for food we ain't going out.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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