i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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