theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
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