Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
pray to the hookup gods
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
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