you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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