we're chasing vodka with high fives
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
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U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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