Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
