I accidentally burped into my bong.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Randomize
