I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
