definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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