dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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