Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Randomize
