Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Randomize
