He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
