You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I think pants incapable of making pants work
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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