We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
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I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
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Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
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