If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
