You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
